IS IT OKAY TO SAY..."that is soo gay"...?

well i have something to talk about...have you guys seen the "thats so gay" commercials...its commercial talking about how saying "that is soo gay" is a bad thing...what do you think?

to be honest i dont think its as bad as they make it out to be...i mean from my perspective i guess its how you look at it and what your intention is when you say it..i use the word gay for all different definitions...good and bad...gay as in dorky..funny...or sometimes stupid...but that doesnt mean i think gays are bad..stupid or dorky...im assuming they are saying its bad because they think it makes gays feel bad..because it does say "what do you think you are saying...or how you think this makes other feel" to be honest im not against gays or anything and i know a lot of gays and lesbian people who are also my friends...they say its bad to use gay as a bad thing...but wouldnt that be the same as using gay for happy..even though thats what gay means...its a slang..i dont compare the word gay to gays everytime i use it...maybe other people do..but i never looked at it as that..just like how we say "postal" should workers and the post office feel offended? i dont know..in one of the commercials..hilary duff made a comment about saying saying gay is just like saying thats so "a girl wearing a skirt as a shirt"? to use that as a bad way because there was a girl wearing a skirt as a shirt...now that is totally different because we all know why hillary duff said it...it was to make a girl feel offensive..but if u look at it like its just a slang..is it really hurting anyone if in reality a girl wearing a skirt as a shirt wasnt a bad thing? do you get my drift...hmm i have thought now and then abt the issue but i always told myself in the end it wasnt bad because i didnt think of it as a bad thing..it was just a slang...maybe im just blinded..and im sorry if i do offend anyone i dont mean it...if i offend someone i know or someone who knows me...im sure they feel reassuring enough to bring it up to me because they know i wont be judgemental...i try not to be when im around people...so what do you think? what do you usually use the word gay for?

hmm i am asian...i guess if people were to say "you are soo chinky" that would kind of hurt but at the same time if it became a nation wide thing for a slang with good intentions i really dont know what i would think..i dont think i would mind...do i sound crazy now? idk maybe im thinking too much...its not that im against this commercial but idk if im ready to change something that i mean no harm just because people cant see the lightness to it or if i dont think its a bad thing and it really isnt meaning i dont mean any harm from it..but then again bad people could say the same thing...as well as ignorant people..because they cant see the error of their ways...gosh what do you think? But if people really do think its bad..let your voice be heard because you are not wrong in any way to say that it makes you feel bad.

im starting to feel like i shouldnt go to madison this weekend..it seems like if i go, im letting everyone down or not really but i feel like if i stayed it would do more good than harm...well this saturday is my mom last day at the farmers market so im sure she needs a lot of help and they are having a special event...and my brother is also having a party for my nephews so i wont be able to make it or help them and like also i wont be able to take my nieces and nephews trick or treating...and im not sure if anyone can take them anymore and i really wanna take them too...also if i dont stay in town my dad might have to close the store down..and i know if i dont go to madison i would be saving money..but idk if would be any different...maybe just 100 or so...but idk sighs

oh yeah im stressed abt tomorrow...im working from 7.30 am to 9 pm tomorrow gosh im gonna die...im working at the farmers market from 7.30 am to 1 pm or till 3 pm and then i have a shift at officemax till 9 tomorrow...idk when im gonna go in yet..idk i might go in at 1 pm but idk im worried abt being too tired...so i might not go in until 2 or 3 and give me some rest time and time to get ready but i need the hours so idk anyways back to madison....

on the other hand if i dont go to madison...im letting down my sister and i really wanted to go and just hangout with some friends and stuff and celebrate my bday...and i dont want my sister to go by herself..especially because this is her first time partying and stuff and prob her first time getting a hotel...well im pretty sure she might just stay with a friend..well idk...i just dont feel safe with her going by herself and i know she will go even if i dont go...sighs what to do what to do....we havent even told our parents...im sure my mom might not mind but i know she will too sighs idk gosh this sucks...why did everything have to happen this weekend..i feel so stretched out and tired and drained hehe

oh yeah happy birthday to me ehehe well my bday isnt until the 29th ahaah i made a bday wish list for my friends gina and mai and for my sisters so you guys dont have to get this ahaha i feel weird if i recieve gifts from friends or something like that ahaha so u guys dont have to get me these things..this is for my family ahaha

My Birthday Wish List
- A bunch of dance dvds - a time for dancing, you got served, step up, etc
- Bras...ahaha
- Shoes and boots..im a size 6 ;P
- Sex in the city perfume, baby phat perfume, with love from hilary duff, princess from vera wang
- hair blow dryer
- curling iron (3/4 of an inch)
- michelle williams cd (unexpected)
- a mixed cd hehe i love music!!!
- gift cards
- money..i have bills to pay ahahah
- a cooling pad for my laptop :P
- scarves...hehe

Turning 21 and going to a haunted house

omy gosh im so lame hehe i was looking at my last entry hehe gosh soo emo ahaha well anyways hehe this blog is just gonna be something i posted on my myspace because im too tired to blog today and im shocked that im blogging in my myspace more...im like usually not a myspace fan at all and i hardly go on it...but the more i go on it the more i realize its true...its like everyone has one ahah but i feel like its just my friends hehe sighs ehehe im sorry people i cant think or anything so my blog is gonna seem hehe idk blah i guess hehe have fun and take care!

BLOG: last night was my 2nd time going to a haunted house hehe it was so much fun hehe well kinda expensive..ugh its so gay they didnt even take my 20 dollar bill ahaha because the people hosting it there didnt have change...so like we (me and my friends) decided to combine all of our money to make it easy for the people hosting it...but like steve and them didnt even grab my 20 ahaha i always feel bad when things like that happen...but i guess its ok because i already used it to buy my parents eggrolls and im gonna pay them back hehee i really want to hehe well anyways hehe it was fun now that i think abt it hehe but i think it was like only scary because i didnt know what to expect and i didnt wanna get lost because i havent been to too many of these so i dont know what to expect and knowing me i would fall and trip and get lost if i wasnt following anyone or holding tight on to anyone hehe i guess the next one im gonna go to i prob wont hold on to anyone just to see how it is hehe but damn its soo expensive..like 12 dollars gosh hehe idk but i guess it was ok because like we didnt have to wait so long this time well im excited for the next one hehe

oh yeah and im turning 21 this month--october 29th! hehe im so excited but at the same time im not hahah because like idk if im gonna do anything hehe prob not hehe too broke hehe and to be honest hehe it doesnt feel like anything special hehe i dont think im looking forward to being able to drink because we already do..just that its not legal and idk its not major to me because drinking is just drinking heeh idk its not a big deal to me hehe because to me its always been more about the company than what im actually doing hehehe so yeah ahaha gosh heehe well yeah we'll see and im already upset that like the dress i wanted for my costume isnt available in manty anymore because the size i want is gone...because like it looks better...theres a smaller size that fits but it doesnt look as nice on me..and they said the closest place that had it was fond du lac...so i really hope its the right size..they said i can order it so i think i might just do that but err hehe idk hehe i wanna go to sheboygan and take a look at that one dress because it was cheaper and it look like a cheap version of it hehehe it didnt look at nice but at the same time it still saved me money hehe or maybe i should just get the purple dress hehe err hehe idk i wish i could jsut go back to sheboygan and look around and then we'll see :P wish me luck and if i do do something for my bday..everyone is invited if they hear abt it because like i have a busy life so i dont really get a chance to talk to anyone so sorry ok! 

oh yeah pang just reminded me..HAPPY SWEETEST DAY!

ok well anyways a few days ago i got a txt from tim saying that hes out of the marines im guessing hes done with his term..i decided to call him because i couldnt sleep and just wanted to talk to him because i didnt have anyone else...but then it made me think if things would start up between me and him again..i dont want it to but i feel like theres a possibility just because things are different now but i dont want him because he had his chance and he blew it but then again i dont know the whole story but idk like i know my side of the story..to be honest i dont wanna be with him but i feel like hes the closest ive come to actually liking a guy and trusting a guy and i do want that but i dont want it from him and not now...idk we'll see..i dont think anything will happen but i think if i continue to talk to him it will...i dont think i can be his friend because idk ive never been friends with an ex before i dont think i could do it..it would be soo weird hehe and plus i know i deserve better and i shouldnt have gone through that and i dont deserve a guy who did that to me in the past...but thats something i want too but idk gosh this is gay

i want to quit my job....but idk i need the money to pay bills and i need money until i decide to start school